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I Love You Phillip Morris Review

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There is a secret in Hollywood- lean in close to your computer screen while I lightly type it here:

“Don’t piss of the homosexuals because the “H’ in Hollywood stands for homosexuals”. We can email you the rest of the acronym.

Don’t be deceived by this movies cover, it is not funny at all.

I Love You Phillip Morris marks the directorial debut of Glenn Ficarra and John Requa, the pair who wrote Bad Santa, and whose latest film is characterised by the same unlikely mixture of pitch-black humour and sentimentality.

Both Jim Carey and Ewan McGregor must be falling on hard times- and if that’s the case I will send the two of them a dollar via PayPal because I just watched I Love You Phillip Morris and actually wanted to take a shower- because this film was an absolute mess.

Does the LGBT community, really believe that sponsoring these kinds of films will help further their cause?- because it doesn’t. This movie presented homosexuals as confused, selfish, lying, deceiving, ignorant, glossy-eyed sexually diseased nymphs.

I should have known the movie would be terrible when the phrase, “This really happened” flashed on my computer screen(Thanks Netflix). If this really did happen, then this amoral story line needs to be boycotted- imagine if every father and mother saw the world like Russell- the world would be screwed.

Both McGregor and Carrey were a hard sell- when trying to envision them as passionate gay lovers.

Whom ever this story is based on, deserves a lifelong prison sentence because your life sucks. Throughout the film, I just kept wondering- what about your little girl?, what about your little girl?, what about your little girl? No worries little girls of gay men, there are plenty of dirty old men desperately wanting to “be your Daddy” because your biological father failed to protect you.

This movie acted as if the only perfect kind of husband is a closet homosexual. Are homosexuals that selfish? that they have children and then walk over their children’s little hopes, dreams and, get this, their child’s need to have a father and not just a random phone call.

Lets get on to the actual movie description, the story begins with Steven Russell (Jim Carrey) recounting the story of his life, a life that is the “American Dream” minus many Blacks, Asians, Latino’s, Hispanics etc. and that features Russell blindly attending the “the country church, with the ignorant country people”.

For the record, when a natural disaster strikes few people will head towards their DVD player to watch I Love you Phillip Morris or to read this web post but they will most certainly journey to that place that is reviled and made fun of in the Hollywood community- remember “the old ignorant country church.”Keep in mind the next time your plane is about to fall from the sky-  I want to see how quickly you revert to the teachings and beliefs of, “the old ignorant country church”– so there may be something more to it.

Russell is a repressed-gay family man attending his church-and working as a police officer. Russell and his wife appear to have it all, Rusell’s wife is played by (Leslie Mann). Soon, we find Steven vigorously screwing another man from behind in a motel room.

Steven, upon finding out he is adopted, visits his biological mother to only find she has several boys and a daughter; in other words, she appears to have just given up Steven for a brown paper bag of money. So, he takes this as a sign that he is not wanted. He soon throws his life away– or for the progressives ” he begins a new lease on life”. He packs up his family, quits his job and buys a new car. Soon a car crash forces him to re-evaluate the choices he has made, he decides to come-out as a homosexual.

Russell leaves his family and moves to Miami with his new HIV/AIDS  sharing (this revelation comes later in the story) boyfriend Jimmy (played by Rodrigo Santoro). Russell realizes that, “Being gay is really expensive.”- soon he is a lying, cheating, stealing swindler.

This movie was a gay version of Leonardo DiCaprio’s Catch Me If You Can but in the case of Catch Me If You Can- this movie was at least a little funny.

Steven Russell proves to be a man that is incapable of loving himself- not less another human being- but the writers try and force it anyway.

Russell’s criminal behavior lands him in jail were he meets a blonde- haired blue-eyed man by the name of Phillip Morris. He proves himself to be a better criminal then law abiding citizen and he uses his connections to get what he wants including the young Phillip Morris. During one conversation Russell tells a new inmate that sucking another man’s genitalia will get him everything in prison and he proceeds to lead the ‘new guy’ into the cell to have him fulfill his obligation. Typical prison behavior or not, this was just absolutely ridiculous. When Russell lands in the same cell as his new love interest Phillip; both men enjoy a comfortable physical, social and psychological existence in their shared cell.

Did anyone but me make the connection between not being imprisoned for life, being HIV/AIDS free and contributing to the world as a better outcome then choosing to be a selfish flaming homosexuals milking the penal system until you die.

Russell now sets on a mission to support Morris- through any means necessary. So, he lies about being a lawyer, gets himself freed, then he gets Morris free and he soon deceives, lies and cheats his way into becoming the CFO of a large firm.

A movie about a gay romance is the equivalent of watching paint dry on a brick wall but at least the paint doesn’t try and sell itself as a masterful work of art.  I Love You Phillip Morris is trash and is a constant reminder of why the world is growing sick of pushy gays. Is not the unnecessary sexual situations or the fact that I was awaiting for Jim Carrey to be—Jim Carey and try an make the movie remotely funny. The world is just sick of this non-stop LGBT driven entertainment. I am not defined by my sexual preference, so why should you? Why is this even in a movie? You like to sleep with guys-o.k! get over yourselves. At least this movie shed some light on the outright selfishness and reckless behavior of homosexuals. I guess it good, not everyone possess this kind of mindset or we would have more terrible news headlines.

The relastionship between Steven Russell and Phillip Morris is contrived and not remotely believable. This as some critics call it, ” bold film” has one place in the world and that is to be used for the open fire during the apocalypse, as we all salvage for things to throw into the flames or maybe it will serve a higher purpose of being used as disposable tissue when using the relieving ourselves in the bathroom.

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