Alien 2: On Earth Blu-ray Review

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Alien 2 Blu-rayFirst released 30 years ago but not played in many countries (including the U.S.) around the world at that point, Alien 2: On Earth, released on Blu-ray on 3-22-11 by Midnight Legacy, is all cleaned up and as ready as any other schlock horror film (nothing like Alien with Sigourney Weaver, which offered amazing special effects of the time) for your viewing pleasure. This one was made in Italian by Ciro Ippolito, but is dubbed in English, is widescreen, and created from its original vault materials in its entire proper time of 84 minutes.

With Alien 2: On Earth we see clips of astronauts going off into space who later disappear, and couple Thelma (Belinda Mayne) and Roy (Mark Bodin) head up a crew of spelunkers who go deep inside the earth (although at the moment the rest of the crew is engaged in a bowling tournament!). Thelma appears on television but is only a few questions into the interview when she puts her head in her hands and goes silent because “it” has happened again, an episode of telepathy (which she can’t articulate to us) that Roy feels is a sign of her vast mental powers. Amazingly no one at the television station is angry and they just go back to showing photos of space and the astronauts.

A lot of this film is spent in transit, either by car or walking on the beach or around stalagmites and stalagtites in a cave, but none of these long transitions build up any dramatic effect. Thelma walks on the beach where a mother is watching her little girl playing in the sand with a red pail and suddenly Thelma screams “No!” but says nothing else, while the mother keeps asking her “What do you want?” Then the mother finds her little girl with her face gone and a large red and meaty “something” there instead.

Meanwhile Thelma and Ray gather up the others from their bowling tournament, make sure that everyone is outfitted with blue gloves and orange and yellow rubber suits with flashlights on their caps, and proceed to the cave, which is elaborate and where we constantly hear the sound of water dripping and at least get to see some “pit” shots from afar. Of course, one of the spelunkers has her face bitten off by what appears to be a blue rock but mysteriously, despite tons of blood, has her face reappear again, intact, later. Then, for some reason the group can’t find its way out of the cave and their equipment starts to fail after a bat flies into a sonar hand-held device, so they split up to meet with similar fates. Only movie-star-like Thelma and Roy emerge from the cave to travel around the city once more, suddenly finding no one anywhere, in a highway patrol car, in the city, and in the bowling alley. What does it all mean?

If you like this kind of horror story (which is made more for laughs than to cause you to be scared) you’ll like Alien 2: On Earth, especially with its beautiful mountain, desert and road scenery, but if you’re not into this kind of film, the plot is threadbare and wouldn’t fool anyone. The music by Oliver Onions is no thrill either! However, there are horror fans who discuss the pros and cons of this type of movie at length, and this Blu-ray was certainly made for them!

Alien 2: On Earth Blu-ray Bonus Features

  • Dutch VHS Trailer
  • Special Effects Outtakes

MPAA Running Time: Not Rated
Total Running Time: 84 minutes
Blu-ray Release Date: March 22, 2011

Directed by Ciro Ippolito
With Belinda Mayne, Mark Bodin, Robert Barrese, Mychael Shaw, Benny Aldritch, Judy Perrin, Michele Soavi, Don Parkinson and Claudio Falanga
Music by Oliver Onions

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5 Responses to “Alien 2: On Earth Blu-ray Review”

  1. JP says:

    Strange that there’s always been this genre of B movies with names that are take-offs of popular movies.

  2. Chris says:

    This seems almost unwatchable, unless you like this kind of thing.

  3. Pat says:

    This sounds funny! A lot of laughs! I’d like to see it with my friends!

  4. Joan Colby says:

    Since I’m not into horror films, I don’t know that I’d watch this one–but maybe it will attract a cult following like The Rocky Horror Show.

  5. Shaun M says:

    This sounds like a great candidate for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffing during the movie treatment! Plodding horror that makes no sense whatsoever? Truly perfect!

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